Feb. 1, 2003

This date is probably meaningless to some, but for me and many others it is a day in history that cannot be forgotten. This was the date of my first 50-miler. I did it at the Rocky Raccoon 50-miler in conjunction with the 100-miler. At the time I couldn't even begin to fathom that people could run 100 miles.

While I was looping around Huntsville State Park on what was a beautiful and clear day, I had no contact with the outside world. It was just me and those in the race, the other race, and those helping out. We were in our own bubble.

I finished the race, and proceeded to drive home, I lived in Houston at the time, with Paul following. As I am driving South on 45, I read signs that say "look for shuttle debris on the road." What?? Maybe I was delirious?? I turned on the radio, and called Paul. While I was enjoying the beauty of the day, in my own world, the shuttle Columbia had exploded on entry; all 7 died. I had been so caught up in MY moment, in my day, that I hadn't given another human being a thought.

I only think of this today as the diary of the Israeli Astronaut is displayed. Here is what was written about it: A little over two months after the shuttle explosion, NASA searchers found 37 pages from Ramon's diary, wet and crumpled, in a field just outside the U.S. town of Palestine, Texas. The diary survived extreme heat in the explosion, extreme atmospheric cold, and then "was attacked by microorganisms and insects" in the field where it fell, said museum curator Yigal Zalmona.
"It's almost a miracle that it survived — it's incredible," Zalmona said. There is "no rational explanation" for how it was recovered when most of the shuttle was not, he said.
The U.S. space agency returned the diary to Ramon's wife, Rona, who brought it to forensics experts at the Israel Museum and from the Israeli police. The diary took about a year to restore, Zalmona said, and it took police scientists about four more years to decipher the pages. About 80 percent of the text has been deciphered, and the rest remains unreadable, he said.
Two pages will be displayed. One contains notes written by Ramon, and the other is a copy of the Kiddush prayer, a blessing over wine that Jews recite on the Sabbath. Zalmona said Ramon copied the prayer into his diary so he could recite it on the space shuttle and have the blessing broadcast to Earth.

Do you ever think about what is going on outside of your little bubble? While we are out and about enjoying every moment of our health, there is so much else going on.

I try to make a point, every time I go for a run now, to take a moment (whether it be during a song, during a quiet moment, when I am breathing and working hard, when I am struggling, or when I am thankful to be finished) to think about my family and friends. I would hate forever if there was a time when I was so caught up in my day that I didn't want them with me, didn't need their support, wasn't thankful for them. I feel like when I can give that quick thought, they are always with me.

Some friends and I have been talking about mental strength, and where I go in my head during a long race. My favorite place to go is with the thoughts of my family and friends. At some point, I stop thinking about "the race," maybe things not going perfectly, or whatever and I turn it over to runs I have had with friends, great moments, funny stories, how foturnate I am. I let them "run" with me in my head. I let Paul push me up a hill. I think of all of my Friday "girl" runs, and take them with me. When my best friend was sick, I ran for her, and now that she is well she pulls me along. It's just amazing the power and lift that comes from thinking of them.

Reflecting today, I go there because I so didn't go there on Feb. 1, 2003. Oddly, now, I race better; I have soooo much more fun training and racing; and as Paul likes to say, "anyone running with me with always get a happy Meredith." As much as it is because I am running, it too, is because I am running with thoughts of those I love!!

Feb. 1, 2003 - thank you for the gift of 50 miles and to not get so lost in my bubble!
mer

For my friends running very long or racing this weekend, make sure you take me along...I promise to make those miles good ones :)

Learning To Walk...

Have you ever given much thought to what it must have taken for you to stabilize your legs that first time and then plant your feet one at a time, just hoping not to fall?? Honestly, until Tuesday I took it all for granted...one foot in front of the other, always hitting the ground, never painful.

Well I will never take it for granted again. Late Last week Paul and I started to notice that Daisy wasn't putting her leg with the cast on the ground to use it as much as she had. So, innocently, during her cast change I asked if I could take her for a little walk before they put her cast back on. Words cannot describe how ill-prepared I was for how my sweet girl reappeared in the waiting room. Her leg, with scars up and down, was completely deformed. She was hopping toward me not understanding on 3 legs. I walked her outside, and before I could gather myself I came in a sat on the floor of the vet's office with her in tears. The surgeon came over to me and said that she was a little concerned, but felt like physical therapy was a good option for us. She had no answers, and God I wish I had my wits about me to ask the right questions.

I was handed a card for the PT, Sandra, and we were finished in that office. It felt horrible...here I took this risk of a surgery to save her leg, and look what I had left her with.

I must have sounded a little panicked when I called Sandra because she phoned me back and told me I could come right over to meet with her. I called Paul; I was desperate.

I would like to say that I went over to Sandra's office and magically Daisy is back to her old sweet self. No, but I see the road we will have to travel. Dog's are amazing creatures, Sandra explained: They hold no baggage; they don't hang on to what happened yesterday; they start new everyday. The only challenge with that is that as the time passed Daisy just starting living as though she wasn't going to be able to use her leg. So now she will have to re-learn. We will have to teach her how to place her foot, how to use her leg, how to walk...

Sandra said this more than once, and it keeps sticking...everyday from here on out is a GIFT with Daisy. I am a gift to her and she is a gift to me. She said that she will not over-work Daisy to make her better, but take it slow and let her lead the way.

Watching Daisy learn how to place her foot; slowly massaging the muscles in her paw; watching her fierce determination as she is in water on a treadmill...just trying, trying, trying. (next week I will take pictures of her at PT, but it was all just a little overwhelming yesterday and today) All of this makes me appreciate every step I can take, every run I can go on, and my two feet that land flat on the ground.

It's become so much more than these gifts of strength that my sweet dog gives to me. It reminds me that there are human beings out there with these exact same struggles, and I feel for them in a way I never could. I now can see a glimpse of what their fight must be like, and just how exhausting the will to walk must be.

I have faith...
mer

Sun, Wind, and a 5K

OK, so 16mph winds aren't that strong...I was hoping to report that we ran this morning in 30mph winds. Nice try.

I was so excited to be part of the Got Guts 5K this morning. If you have ever read my blog, you know that I am not a short distance runner and don't really have any speed. So my expectations were low, but it was a trail 5K and it was for a great cause: Celiac Disease. I work with a number of clients that have Celiac Disease, and my client was the race director so I was thrilled to be out there supporting.

I ran into a bunch of fun people right when I arrived: Julia, John, Brenda, Dan, and Brent. I then saw Charles. I tried to convince him to run a pre-race loop with me, but he has already done so. Off I went for a loop around the course...a great grass/dirt cross-country course: 1 hill in mile one, and a good climb from about mile 2-2.5. The weather was not overly warm, but the wind was stirring. I was happy to not be on the road. Before the start, Paul arrives on his bike to cheer. How fun to have him there! I told him to get by the last climb and yell at me there :)

We lined up for the start, and I met Kristen who runs with Charles. Just from what Charles had mentioned I knew that she would be too fast for me, so when she asked if I was running fast today I said, "not fast enough for you." I suggested she take off with Charles and then pass him later. Whistle blows and off we go...a bunch of people totally sprint by me, and then like 2 minutes later slow down. I quickly go from about the 10th woman to the 3rd. On the only up and down where you can see the front runners, I see that I am about 45ish seconds behind Kristen and Charles. She seems awesome! Not long after we turn a corner, I see Charles not too far ahead. I catch up to him and run behind him for a minute. Then I go around him. Then we head downhill before the last climb; he passes me there... I stay just close enough behind, and stay right behind him on the climb. As I come up to the road for the last 1/2 mile, Paul yells, "go get him." Well, I did but probably because he needed a second to back off so he wouldn't have his usual 5K finale (he told me about this right before the race). All in all it was a fun time! Did I mention that Paul loved the Gluten-free treats and we enjoyed the box of muffins I took home. (Brent and John took a box home too!!)

A few things I realized: cheering and thanking the volunteers is not the way of 5K running...I should probably run harder; my legs actually don't mind the hard running; and I have probably overdone it just a tad for having strep throat earlier this week.
Wednesday - got antibiotics (felt terrible)
Thursday - rest, work, rest
Friday - 18 a bit quick + work
Saturday - Felt the 18 after being sick (throat, everything hated me a little)
Sunday - 5Kw/up + 5K (21:08, not bad, but might have run better if I could breathe??)

OK, I get it long report for a 5K...but it was actually fun to push like that. And just a side note, I took my friend Catherine with me the entire run as she is in Houston. I am thrilled to say that my family and friends are safe and making due without power!! I am very thankful our prayers were answered for them to be safe!

Have a great week!
mer

One of the Best

Yesterday Paul and I both took moments to reflect the loss of a very good man. For those who knew him, or have met him, the tragedy stung. He was a skilled athlete, a doctor, and a great person. Every encounter we ever had with him was positive.

Here are some words he had posted:
"My Goal in life is to fill every minute of my available spare time with as many fun things outdoors as possible, during the time I have left on this Earth."

Here are the final words he wrote in the registers at the tops of the peaks he climbed the day of his death, as recounted by a lady up in the mountains:
My husband and I helped look for David Boyd the morning he was found. We were climbing Little Bear. We were asked to look for him after we crested the ridge of Little Bear. They told us we were the first ones up there and what we should do if we saw him. Unfortunately, we saw the Search and Rescue folks lowering him down by rope as we descended the peak. He did summit Little Bear on Sept. 3rd and wrote in the register "3rd peak today!". He summited Ellingwood that same day and wrote in the register "Hammer Time!". And, he summited Blanca too, on Sept. 3rd and wrote in the register "Cool Place!". We climbed all three of the mountains on Sept. 5th with such sadness and regret.

As he was alone in on the mountain, we will never know for sure what happened, but here is what we know:
They think that Dave fell twice, once and maybe broke a leg or ankle and sent the 8 signals, then tried to move and fell the 150-200 feet and what ultimately killed him was his rib punctured his lung.
Dave activated his distress signal o/a 9:18PM on Wednesday.
The search and rescue did not get notified until 9:30PM on Thursday, a full 24 hours later.
The rescue team found him ~ 10 hours after that.

In Memoriam: Dave Boyd These photos are just a small account of how tough he was...

Paul said it perfectly: We're so independent and sometimes under-appreciate the value of the buddy system.

Catherine, yesterday, found a cross and flowers and put it in his yard. The cross said "God Bless This Family."

What a great man, what a sad ending...
mer

Back to "Normal"

I am not exactly sure what "normal" really is, but in my life we are getting back. Back to routine; back to solid work schedule; back to life. Daisy is really starting to feel great. She is getting around like a champ in her cast; this week it is hot pink with blue hearts. The surgeon has decided to keep some type of cast on her for 7 more weeks because she is sooo mobile. She wants to protect the bone while it heals without risking a break, which would be a disaster. So it is time to let Daisy wander and function with her cast on...which she is doing great at.

Paul was at his MBA intensive this past week. It was an incredible week with the highlight having his team win the Capstone Competition. I don't want to bore you with the "race report" of sorts I wrote, so here is the highlight...the competition was on Wednesday:

There was a moment a few years ago when we looked over the acceptances and debated is a UT MBA the direction we should go? I say we so very loosely because this journey has been all Paul's with just some sacrifices sprinkled in. Last night I clearly got to see that it was all worth it.
Many of you don't know that my husband is SO much more than an athlete. He is dedicated, and when he sets his mind to something he has the focus of a laser beam. It is with this focus he has been pursuing his MBA. And it is with this focus, his team won the Capstone Competition last night.

They stood up on the stage...Greg went first. One of Paul's classmates whispered to me that Greg might be a bit loud. But it was not the case. With incredible calm, he led the charge from behind the podium. (Good choice number 2...the other groups passed around the mic.) He stated the case, and defended the case. Then it was Paul. I can honestly say it was one of the proudest moments I have ever had. He spoke with such passion and was one fire. There was no beating him down. At one point I whispered over, "is he running for president?" It was just this incredible moment of all of his hard work through the program coming together. Everything he had studied for, all of the respect he has for the professors he was presenting to, all of the passion and work his team had put in. It was all coming together at that moment. Don't get me wrong, the hammering was there and it was tough...but they were ready for it, and they answered it. Then it was over...ahhhh; time for a beer.
We went down to the reception to wait for the judges to make their decision. It was fun to chat with his classmate and just be happy for the accomplishment of the program almost coming to an end. Soon enough the panel and Trent came to announce the winners. 3rd place was a tie, and then they announced the winners...in case you didn't know where this was going...Paul's team!!

WOW, what a great finale. I got some great pictures (I will have them soon) of one of his professor's talking to them after the win. All the pride in their faces was incredible. They had worked so hard, and the feedback was so much to take in. I hope Paul was able to absorb it all. For over 30 minutes after, they were the MBA kings and queen. They held center stage in questions about their strategy, and just how they accomplished something so huge.

I didn't get the magnitude of it all until I was part of it last night. Sitting on a plane with Crystal two weeks ago, we talked about it as her team had won it her year, but I didn't quite get it.

This is a big deal. This degree, this program, all of Paul's hard work...it is HUGE and I am very proud!

With me seeing some normalcy returning to our world, I decided to make my fall/winter race plans. The first is to be Firetrails 50 in October. I am excited to have some kind of plan in place, as I work sooo much better with a schedule, races, and a plan. It gives me focus, helps me with my life time management, and as Paul continues to insist...I am much more pleasant to be around when I am running.

In case I haven't said it enough, I am truly grateful for all of the love and support that I have been given over the past few weeks. I cannot express how it has held me together, and helped me move on. I am stronger for it!! We have a moment where we can let life's challenges break us down or build us up. This one has built me up, made me appreciate my family and friends that much more, and enjoy each day I can get out and run with a new appreciation!

Have a wonderful week!

mer

Watching Over...

I made the decision Wednesday; Daisy is having surgery. She did her final track workout, watch a squirrel with her buddies, and was sooo happy.

Thursday morning she headed in for her big day: removal of the tumor, affected soft tissue, and the parts of the ulna that had cancer. Initial thought was the only a small part of her ulna would need to be removed. Reality: a larger part of the bone had cancer than expected. The result: a bionic dog. Actually, they did all the removal and then inserted a screw in to stabilize the ligaments and top part of the ulna to the radius. (I almost feel like an expert in limb-sparing procedures)

Apparently Thursday night was a little rough, Daisy cried in what they thought was pain so they upped her pain meds. I came by this morning to a very sad dog; did I make the wrong choice I thought? She was wimpering a little and just looked sad. I left her hoping to return this afternoon to bring her home.

This Afternoon was a WHOLE new story!! Once they took Daisy off the pain med drip, she sat up and stood up. She even walked to the room when I arrived, with the help of her new harness friend (I have one to walk her with). They said that after the IV pain med wore off, she was a new girl.

I got her home and Paul unloaded her from the car. I had made a bed for her out of a Target comforter and towels so that they could be washed regularly. (and not worry about any damage) We get her in her new bed, and let Flyer out to see his sister. Well in a wonderful scene, he decided his new home should be right next to her...watching over her!

Now it's time for love and recovery. The drainage tube comes out on Monday, and then the healing begins. No chemo, no more surgeries, just whatever time I have left of my wonderful girl!

By the way, if you are out and about and in the neighborhood...she would love visitors tomorrow afternoon or Sunday. Just call or email me and let me know you are coming :)

Thank you so much for your support and prayers; they are working in the the most wonderful ways!
mer

Overwhelmed

I am completely overwhelmed:
- and thankful for all the thoughts and prayers I have received.
- by all the information that I have received.
- by my wonderful vet and her phone call on a Saturday while I was out of town.
- by my neighbors and their generosity to always care for Daisy and Flyer as though they were their own.

On Saturday I got the news that I didn't really want, but kind of knew was coming. Daisy has bone cancer on her leg. My vet said that she had never seen the cancer on the ulna, so she did some research for me. There is a surgery that they remove the tumor and the bone, and spare the limb. She didn't know the success, so she referred me to an oncologist and an oncologist surgeon.

This morning I saw the oncologist. Tomorrow is the surgeon. After that it is time for a decision. Again, I am overwhelmed. I wish Daisy could tell me what she wanted. I wish I could take some of her pain away. I wish we could go for a run...
mer