Sunday, April 22, 2007

Deep Thoughts and an Old Pic

Last year on the way to WS Paul and I ran into Adrianna and Lisa on the flight from Austin to Houston. They have been so supportive and it was really great to see them there. Funny, though, Adrianna just emailed me the pics last week. It was a great reminder to see myself on the way to Squaw.

This year my hair is much shorter, I look pretty much the same, but an entirely different person is heading into these last 62 of training, taper, and raceday adventure. The different person I am was really solidified as I was standing still in the Grotto today at the greenbelt. A year ago I would nearly have a panic attack each time I had to go through the grotto for fear of snakes, and today on a warm, damp, perfect day for a snake I stood still in there calling for the dog...with absolutely no fear.

I had the pleasure of the company of my friends Sarah and Jessi, and of course Daisy, this drizzly morning on a loop around the greenbelt. We sent Paul and Jessi's boyfriend, Shawn, on their merry fast way and enjoyed some good girl time. Clea and her dog, Pancake, were out there as well, but she was in a bit of a hurry and didn't have time to run as long so she needed to do her own thing. Sarah has now joined me twice on training runs, and each time I come to realize what a great spirit she has added to my life. Her true joy of being out on a run and the wonderful place she is in her life makes her such a pleasure to be around. Jessi is like that too. She has such a great energy. I always look forward to the chance to see her and talk to her, so it was a treat to have her join!! Not to mention, she has become such a strong fun to see!

Anyway, sorry to get side-tracked... As I was with them, I told them a brief bit about the thoughts I have been having on this year's training vs. last. I got to take a moment to share these thoughts with a fews others earlier in the week, imparticular a person it affected. I hate to admit it, but last year I just did not have the right attitude. Instead of being understanding about different circumstances, I was often very selfish and completely negative. Only a few probably noticed this on the day-to-day, but it was there and if you knew me was not pretty. Interestingly, last year I kept seeing snakes on my training runs. I fear snakes more than anything in the world, to the point of panic, and so seeing them would absolutely ruin a run. Not only that, but discussions in the trail group kept turning to snakes. Everywhere I was, the topic was there or they were there. I even saw one the WS trail and the Miwok trail. In a very Biblical sense, I have come to determine that my seeing and hearing of snakes was a strong correlation to evil. My negativity, my fear, my selfishness seemed to present itself in the form of what I consider evil...a snake.

So here I am a year later. I am in such a better place with all of my friends, my training, and my overall perspective on what all of this means. And here I am a year later...not a snake in sight. I haven't seen one on the trail and I have done more runs on my own this year. The talk around me isn't of snakes, but of meaningful parts of life. Instead of spending my time with my friends dwelling on my training, my needs, my issues, I spend that time getting to catch up with them and hear about their worlds. I get my training done every week, but it isn't the sole importance of me. I have found unbelievable amounts of balance and understanding in what it is like to be a supportive friend, a good wife, and a hard worker while still meeting my training goals, and quite honestly I have seen so much more success in my training through this light.

I am so honored and appreciative that I got into WS again, so that I could have the opportunity to discover the person I can be. I look forward to the final push, the last 62 days, the positive energy, the good people around me, and the signs that only God can deliver to make me the best person I can be!!

God Bless and have a great week!


Larry said...

Great words Mer! I've begun to realize that the more I give, the more I recieve in return by a longshot. I find when I'm selfish, everything get completely out of balance in my life. Stay positive and have great time at Miwok!

olga said...

Wonderfully said! As Catra says - or her wisdom cards - it all comes from peace inside...Enjoy the last push! I wish I were there:) but I'll live it through many friends.

p.s. I am petrified of snakes too!
p.p.s. I love Bikram, I used to teach it (as a second job and a passion that saved my back from surgery and allowed me to start running), between teaching classes (that I was always showing as well) and taking classes, it was a good 8-10 times a week. But once I moved, it is inconvenient, expensive and I don't like much their style (teaching). But I take the good that I need when I can:)

MikeW said...

Which makes me have to ask you...
The snakes thing has me nervous running the grotto parts of the trail with my dog. Sisson said not to run hump back to sharkstone etcc.. in april or may with Karma off leash. any thoughts?

clea said...

"No, no, Clea. Don't put snake eggs on Meredith's pillow."